What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
