Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
