Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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