McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
