If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
