Im at strip club and am horny
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
