maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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