You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
