I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
