Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
