glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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