You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
