Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
