Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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