she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
