we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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