every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
