He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
