I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
