can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I want is dick and wine.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
