I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
