How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was confusing and full of hummus
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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