I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
