It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
