Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
