I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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