in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize