she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
