The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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