I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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