Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
time to smoke my breakfast
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
