If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
