I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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