I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
