maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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