I'm gonna have a badass scar
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Green mimosas i think yes
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
