No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
