belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
