3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Someone shit on the floor
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
