But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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