He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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