why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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