I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
