You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
