I wish you could order shots online.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
