Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
