Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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