I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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