Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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