your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it was like eating out sand paper
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
