So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i out mim tonsoeep
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