Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
