So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
