hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
