the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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