exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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