Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My ass is underappreciated
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
