Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Enjoy the penises
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize