I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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